My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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