Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
