Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
