Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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