So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize