Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
