I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
