doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
