Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have aggressive nipples.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
