So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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