Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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