Christians are straight up FREAKS
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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