Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
