About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
