Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she peed on how many people?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
