your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
only if we run a train.
done.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
