She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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