K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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