so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
