i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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