The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I AM VODKA MAN
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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