My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
