Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
