I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
