doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
