If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
