he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
