god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Boobs speak an international language.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
