She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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