i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
