I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize