Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
