Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
