He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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