gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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