Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
