I need to stop coming to work sober
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
