therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize