check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
