so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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