I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
