6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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