party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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