the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
