addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
