yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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