Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
