the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
