Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have aggressive nipples.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
