Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
