I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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