On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
