dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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