You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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