I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize