If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
