I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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