there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
