i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
