hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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