So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
