hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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