i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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