No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
