Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
