So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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