My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
