There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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