i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
