just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
