This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
